“Epiphany and Certainty”

A Brand New Day – an Old Idea?

9:12am – blimey! Where did the first hour of my day go? This is what happens when I start the day online, I loose track of time and time itself to idle surfing . . . . But my day started way before I settled in my office chair.

These mornings I wake up super early. Is it a 50+ thing? I no longer need a wakeup alarm, baffling for the girl who could easily sleep till 11 only a few months ago 😊

Since we came back from Norway the dawn call for prayer from our local mosque persist in waking me. The azan (first prayer of the day) goes off around 5am, a movable time depending on when the sky begins to lighten, before the first part of the sun appears above the horizon.  There is an intricate system of calculating the exact time for prayer so let’s just say – the first (of five) daily prayer is at the dawn of a new day.

Some mornings I fumble for my Kindle and read myself back to sleep. Sometimes I just slumber and try to catch some of the early morning thoughts, as they swirl around my subconscious mind. If I’m really good, and remember, I might even do some  ‘Morning Pages’.

This morning I just slumbered – drifting in and out of consciousness as the traffic noise and street chatter crescendoed. Culminating in the aggressively beeping horn from the ever impatient bus driver, extracting an consistently tardy student from the villa across our road. His daily beeping horn is my call to meet Ruby in the kitchen.

As I step across the threshold, an Epiphany pings into consciousness. Quick, before the idea slips away, I step back, grab my journal from the bedside table and jot it down.

Now, back in the office, I realise with some dismay – this is not a new idea . . . . still it has a new layer to it – with the book reviews and interviews. Probably seedlings from watching both uber-professional TV-like shows from, TedX, Jonathan Fields, Lewis Howes and the likes, for years. As well as content rich inspiration, of more amateur-like video quality, and Facebook Live broadcasts from Danielle LaPorte, Moira Geary etc. – can one still call it broadcasts when it’s on Facebook?

To build the book as if I’m building a business – now that’s a new angel on the idea of ‘building a platform.’  During our last Wine Wednesday, Theresa and I spoke about putting the horse before the cart when it comes to building our brand and marketing channels. Her dilemma is different to mine. She has the most luxurious products but her supply chain is unstable, to say the least. It is the toughest challenge she face in her business. So while she thinks about designing her website and finding ways to reach her customers, she question why she would do it when she can’t be sure she’ll have products ready o deliver.

In my case, my product grow out of my head, through my keyboard-tapping fingers, and only need a bit of editing and action to get them out. As I think about all the possibilities and options I have, an insurmountable mountain of work appear before me, causing feelings of Overwhelm as the big WHY? raises it’s ugly head.

You got to make your WHY big enough says Moira in her free ‘Don’s set Goals . .’  course.

The reason WHY we do Anything have a massive effect on the outcome we get. Our ‘WHY’ is the driving force behind EVERYTHING we do.

So why bother doing anything? Nobody will be any worse off if I never finish my book, right? Or if I deviate from the book and start writing something completely different, – right? For me, to not do my work will have no effect, what so ever, on the rest of the world! I’m right – right?

What if Moira, Danielle, Mary Karr, Tony Robbins or Brené Brown never did their work? What if Steve Jobs hadn’t kept up the fight, or if Oprah never took that TV job and bought that network? What would my life be like without what they have done? What if Edison gave up after 2,000 tries? Would we still be sitting in the dark?

So what if I don’t bother? Or maybe even worse, what if I only write this book but get stuck before I finish, because I push to hard on just this ONE thing? What if I keep pushing hard back on all these other words that want to come out?

Thinking about writing all these other words and doing the thought work, sends me right back to Overwhelm – so now I’ve gone around in circle – which means I must have found my BIG WHY.

The other ‘words’ I’m pushing hard back against is self help, self care, self development – all the stuff that stoke my fire and make me come alive! How do I work that into my writing when my writing is all about becoming visible and telling the truth? Because this is NOT the truth I want to share 😊

My self help journey is like a guilty pleasure – I don’t want anyone to know how much of this stuff I gobble up. Making dinner, – on my own in the kitchen, – you can be sure some awesome author or speaker is blurbing great nuggets out of the MacBook speakers atop the kitchen counter.  Having lunch while scanning the internet for the latest big motivational or writer’s idea, – that’s me  😜 . .  and I chinch.

My perpetual hunger for learning about what makes me tick duo with a yearning for certainty. To arrive at that place of clarity where the road ahead is so crystal clear I can see every step of the way.

I long for someone, something, anything – out there to say; – ‘Yes, Vig, this is exactly the right thing to do. I guarantee you will not fail, – and by the way – here is the blueprint for exactly how to do it.’

Aint’ gona happen is it?

In an interview by Dan Schawbel, for Forbes, talking about her new book ‘Braving the Wilderness’ Brené Brown says about certainty; ‘We will do anything that gives us a sense of more certainty and we will give our power to anyone who can promise easy answers and give us an enemy to blame.’ This echoes from Guidepost 5 in her Gift of Imperfection which reads “Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting go of the Need for Certainty”

She defines intuition as; – “. . not a single way of knowing” but rather “our ability to hold space for uncertainty, and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve develop knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith, and reason.”

So a bit like ‘If you build it, they will come?’

I read the The Gift of Imperfection years ago, when I did her art course, so generously shared with me by a friend in Limerick. Still – here I am, all this time later – looking for Certainty!

I was on the brink of booking a reading with a spirit guide, but if I’m honest, this is a little to woohoo for me. And as I write the words now, I realise the only reason I want a reading is the idea that it will give me the CERTAINTY I crave Still, maybe it would be a fun thing to try?

So BANG goes Certainty – out the window. But something BIG has happened.

Setting my intention for what I want to Manifest, I put 700 words a day in the Facebook comments preceding Moira’s free manifestation class on her Positive Recombobbers page. Crunching the numbers again I realised they’re to low so I upped it to 1,000 (which is a lot!) and added Great Flow.

BUT . . . I wasn’t clear on what kind of words or to what end I wanted them to flow on to the page, so the Universe made it’s own interpretation and blew me in a different direction, – away from my book. So here I am at 12:13 pm – having been in the beautiful flow of writing for 3 hours, and reached 1,329 words! Not on the subject I wanted, hoped or planned to write, and still it feels oh so good  😊  But is it right? Is this what I should be writing?

Well, it is only through writing a writer emerge. So having put down these words – blown in by the Universe – I have to decide what to do with them. I can close the laptop and forget I wrote them OR I can brave the wilderness and publish them And if nobody reads them, does it really matter? – It’s not as if I’m my work will change the world, – right?

Love & Light

Vig ❤️

Do you have a story about an epiphany or a yearning for certainty? I’d love to hear form you, so pop your words in the comments below or wiz me a mail ❤️ Let’s get a conversation going ❤️

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